Ask Caryn – September 2010
Help for a mum!
Hi Caryn
I’m a 30 year old mum of an 8 month old and in desperate need of some help in dressing my post-pregnancy body! I’m 5’5′” and a size 10-12 – shouldn’t be too much trouble but my chest has grown to a 34E! I need some serious inspiration for flattering my new figure and looking more yummy mummy. Please please please can you give advice for the top half!
Many Thanks
Viv
Hi Viv,
I’m just back off hols so sorry for the delay in replying.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby, these are exciting times!
But let’s talk about your body! First, breasts and back measurements are changed by pregnancy, childbirth and breast feeding. Make sure you have a great supportive bra as your breasts are heavier and therefore more prone loss of tone. Wear a soft bra to bed..if you are nursing there will be plenty to choose from.
This may be a temporary situation because of breastfeeding. The top-heavy e-book has all the advice you need to create a wardrobe that will minimise a large bust….but if you are not naturally top heavy it may be good to wait. I have enclosed some tips to give you a quick steer on how to reduce the appearance of your upper body and create a capsule wardrobe that will give you a bit of fashion currency.
As a busy, young mum you need clothes to be practical as well as stylish, but let’s start from the inside out.
The first step is to go and get your bra correctly fitted. If you are still breast feeding then you obviously need to still wear a soft bra. If however you are bottle feeding then you can invest in a good underwired bra to give you lift. Check out Marks and Spencer in our shopping mall who offer an excellent service.
Once measured you can then buy bras that are supportive but also sexy. This will feel good for your moral! Try also a high waisted knickers – again Marks and Spencers who do a range called Magic they are actually sexy teamed with a matching bra. More importantly they will help to sculpt your body, giving you shape and confidence. Try their ‘bodies,’ which also work well with dresses.
Next invest in a good pair of jeans; ‘I Love Jeans,’ is a great website and one you can use to research your jeans solutions. Another label I’m always raving about is the ‘Tummy Tuck’ jean you can get these from the above site and having tested them on a few make-over features, I know they work.
For your top half you need to minimise your bust area, avoid fuss such as ruffles and go for tops to flatter such as v-neck, scoop neck or wrap style. Printed tunics are good for you as they look Summery and fresh over a pair of jeans – perfect for spring, and great for covering a tummy, but check that the design gives you fit around the bust – some are rather gathered and smock-like and will make you look bigger.
Dresses are also very much on trend now, as are maxis with the emphasis being on floral, feminine styles that skim your body. Dress down with a pair of footless tights and flat pumps. And add layers such as chunky cardigans or jackets for warmth.
The Parka is still around and you can throw it over any of the looks above and look stylish. The selection of pockets also makes it extremely practical!
Finally finish off any look with bright accessories, such as a big bangle, long beaded necklace or scarf, check out Accessorize in our shopping mall.
Remember you’ve been out of the loop for a while (occupied by much more important things) so do a little research on our site by looking at the high street images we post for spring and summer. Here we talk about each trend and it’s suitability for body shape. This will acclimatise you before you go shopping.
First the bra. A fitting from a good department store is absolutely crucial. Make sure the straps are thick enough and tight enough to pull your breasts upwards to their correct shape. Breasts that point downwards look aging and will hide your waist – making you look barrel like.
Second wear only tops that are dark plain and v-necked. (Navy’s blacks, browns, dark aubergine). The v-neckline will lengthen your neck and visually reduce your bust size. Any top with a vertical line like buttons on a cardigan will also help. Also choose fitted blouses that have vertical stripes on a dark base are good.
Third, on your bottom half, wear bright and light and bold colours (Camel, white, red, blue or green for formal settings but any colour you please in your leisure also pattern is good here.
What to wear to a wedding
Hi,
I am 23 and have just been invited to a friends wedding in Malta taking place in August. A size 12, 5FT 4 pear I am finding it really difficult to find something to wear that I will feel comfortable in, in the heat.
I would ideally like to spend under £80.
Can you help?
Kind Regards
Rheanna
Hello Rheanna
Take a look on www.boohoo.com. They have a huge range of dresses, in particular maxi dresses in a whole variety of colours, prints and styles at great prices. A maxi dress would be a great option as it will lengthen and deftly cover your hips while looking stylish and keeping you chicly cool all at the same time. Have a look at the Chelsea bandeau style maxi dress, the Sonia H neck border maxi dress or the Chloe stud neck dress. They have either beautiful print or interesting neck detail that will keep attention away from your hips.
If you prefer a higher hemline then they also have a couple of lovely one-shoulder options – the Emme one shoulder coral dress or the Claire ethnic print dress.
I hope this helps.
Finding a Tailor
Hi Caryn,
Firstly, thanks for your website – I have downloaded the e-book for the curvy figure and I am committing it to memory.
I am now reaching my late 30′s and finally want to start looking really good with well fitting clothes (about time, I know!). I am a very curvy hourglass shape but also only 5ft 2 so I find sometimes that the advice for these two different catagories can conflict. My main problems are with shirts and jackets – the bigger size needed to do up round my chest, but then too long in arm and body. Can you recommend any tailors or designers that won’t break the bank? I am based in the South East (Chichester) but would be willing to travel to find a great service. I feel it is now worth me saving my money to buy key pieces, made to fit me, then buy off the peg and be disappointed.
I appreciate any help.
Best wishes,
Maria
Hello Maria
I’m so glad the e-book is helpful.
So let’s answer your next question! Gone are the days when everyone had a dressmaker on speed dial and so a good one is not always the easiest to find! Here are a few tips:
Firstly a good a way is to ask your local boutique or department store. John Lewis, in particular have their own haberdashery department and offer sewing lessons so should be able to point you in the right direction. Also bridal and formal wear shops will use local seamstresses on a regular basis so it might be worth popping in and asking.
Excellent services that I know of in London are the London Fitting Rooms (www.londonfittingrooms.com) and www.mybeautifultailor.com.
Also remember once you have found a seamstress, don’t be afraid to ask questions. Find out how long they have been in business, what their speciality is, turn around times, and what type of training they have. Ask for references from some of their past customers. A seamstress that is confident (http://www.helium.com/items/980852-tips-for-finding-a-seamstress##) of her abilities will have no problem giving customer references.
I do hope this helps.
Dressing for a new job
Hi Caryn
I am a young thirty eight year old, 9st, 5.5 and a size twelve. I have spent the last ten years working as a professional artist and have lived in paint splattered jeans and overalls. I am now in the process of applying for managerial roles in arts organisations and need to look smart and creative, but also don’t want to loose out on the comfort I have got used to. I feel more confident in heels, but find walking in them a chore, and due to psoriasis on my knees want them covered up or in trousers.
I hope you can advise me, I’m a bit lost!
Jude
Hello Jude
This coming season is all about pared-down chic – i.e. minimalist pieces in luxe fabrics. A grown-up cocktail of smart and creative with a large slice of comfort. It’s all about clothes that feel good and unfussy looks that don’t require a complicated formula for you to get dressed in the morning!
Trousers are a big part of this new aesthetic and we’re not talking hard-to-wear harems but easy, elegant, flattering, leg-lengthening trousers. Pair with a silky blouse, skinny belt and heels for easy glamour. Other pieces to look for are ultra-simple knits, tanks and streamline jackets or capes in a palette of black, navy, camel and grey. These will serve as great pieces in your wardrobe for this season and many years to come. Add your own artistic twist with accessories.
I’ve rooted out a piece I wrote last season (see below) about tips when heading back to the office, you may find it helpful too.
Best, Caryn.
So here are my top tips for how to dress when heading back to the office.
Capsule wardrobe
Get items that you can mix and match and so don’t have to panic about what top goes with what skirt when you wake up in the morning. Invest in some classic tailored items like an a-line skirt, a pencil skirt, a great pair of trousers, even a waist-coat. Choose these in solid colours like dark neutrals. Blouses and tops can be in lighter neutrals, then inject colour and personal style through your accessories. For an executive style be aware of prints…keep them simple and in vertical lines suggesting order and authority. And always make sure your shoes are shined.
Go easy on yourself
Luckily, this season it’s all about the big easy. Rather than looking like you haven’t bothered, this style all about effortless cool. Say goodbye to hard edges and hello to drapey jersey fabrics, ruched and pleated chiffons. Their forgiving nips and tucks flatter in all the right places. That way no one needs to know you got dressed in 5 mins.
Give your style an update
If you’ve been out of the workplace for a while, you may find that a lot of your smart clothes are out of fashion. But it doesn’t mean they all have to head to the charity shop. Classic items like simple skirts and trousers never go out of style. Go through all the clothes you already own and think about what you could do to make them look fresh and new. It might mean a quick visit to a tailor to get a subtle adjustment or investing in some accessories (http://www.howtolookgood.com/blog/2010/accessories-will-give-your-wardrobe-a-lift/) to give your look a lift. But it’s going to be cheaper than rushing out and buying a whole new wardrobe.
Go Military
A sharp, military jacket is not only totally on trend (click here) it can also help you feel like you deserve your place in the boardroom. Throw it over a shift dress for effortless, ageless style. Dress it up with jewellery and scarves for important meetings. Or dress it down, with a pair of smart jeans, for those more casual Fridays.
Great underwear
The key to surviving in the workplace, is having the right support. And this is especially true of your underwear. Control underwear is a great secret weapon – designed to hold you in, in all the right places and give you a sleek silhouette. Most importantly it will give you confidence in experimenting with some new looks. Also make sure that you are wearing a well-made, properly-fitted bra.
Know what to wear for your shape.
It might be that your shape has changed since you last slipped into a suit. And what worked for you before, may just not work now. First identify your shape and then find the clothes to best flatter you. What you want to project is order, authority, calmness and clarity. And choosing clothes with the right features for your shape will help.
If you want to know what shape you are, and how to dress to suit it, I’ve created a series of ebooks on this very thing.
Get items that you can mix and match and so don’t have to panic about what top goes with what skirt when you wake up in the morning. Invest in some classic tailored items like an a-line skirt, a pencil skirt, a great pair of trousers, even a waist-coat. Choose these in solid colours like dark neutrals. Blouses and tops can be in lighter neutrals, then inject colour and personal style through your accessories. For an executive style be aware of prints…keep them simple and in vertical lines suggesting order and authority. And always make sure your shoes are shined.
Slouch Cardigans Advice for Petites
Hi Caryn,
Can petite women wear the new long slouchy cardigan (also called the boyfriend cardigan), or does it make the body look shorter?
Tracy, USA
Hi Tracy,
Technically yes. BUT if you like a trend you can always adapt it.
Perhaps if you belt it with a thin ties belt at high waist you can draw the eye up.
Keep trousers and cardi in neutral tones then wear a top in a more dominant colour to take the eye up.
These are some of the petite tricks we give in our e-books.
Over 50 Advice
Hi Caryn
Can you help me.
I am 57 years old with a 37.5″ bust (all back), 34″ waist, 38″ hip and 5′ 3″ tall. I have always been slim and about 8st, but now nearly 10st (AAAHHHHH!- Help!) I am not sure what e-book to order with my waist. Basically I feel my waist is the biggest part of me and I hate it. Am I an apple? I feel that I am still in my thirties somewhere but my body has advanced to 60. I simply hate mumsy clothes. Any tips for clothes, loosing the tummy, accessories etc. Also, I have had the same hairstyle (fringe, layers and mid length) and colour (golden blonde/warm honey) for years and not sure what to do next. I have got lots of white hair mixed with dark blonde now but when I go any lighter it is too light for my skin. So can you help PLEASE!
Jackie
Hi Jackie,
Yes petite apple-shape is right for you. This e-book will help you understand how to create streamlining through your torso.
There are all also the tips you need for identifying the right clothes to disguise your tummy.
Now then!
Changing your hair will make a big difference to your confidence – its great to have a change, but don’t rush into anything!
In my ageless style e-book I collaborate with Lisa Shepherd to discuss all the issues women over forty have around hair, so I’m recommending this e-book also.
But nothing substitutes a great consultation with a good hairdresser for cut and indeed a consultation with a good colourist for tonal advice. These consultations should always be free if you visit a good salon.
Lisa is the best colourist in the country and has won many awards so it might even be worth visiting. She has salons in Midlands and London www.lisashepherd.co.uk
Let me know how you get on and best wishes
Ebook Question
Hi
I’m looking at your ebooks, but first i have a few questions. What is considered a small bust? Your price of $9.97 GBP? As I’m in Canada. How many pages are in a book. Does it include any pictures? thanks
Donna
Hi Donna,
Thanks for your enquiry.
Our shape e-books contain 89-pages and our free Jeans e-book has 44-pages.
The books can be viewed full screen and contain line drawings and text information, giving you a clear understanding of what to wear for your shape, and what not to wear.
With regards to price, at the current exchange rate these work out at approx $16 Canadian Dollars, which also includes the Jeans e-book.
Finally re bust sizes, we can’t be specific as bra sizes have different sizing in Europe and not sure about Canada. You need to judge whether you have a slightly smaller cup size, rather than a fuller larger cup size and look at what we say in ‘What shape am I?’
If you find you have purchased the wrong e-book, we will happily send you an alternative, plus we offer a full refund if you are not completely satisfied.
We hope this helps.
Coat Advice for Wheelchair
Hi
Can you help me im wheelchair bound and i am looking for a winter coat, it needs to be short, i dont know which e book to purchase?
Gail
Hi Gail
Regarding winter coats, avoid heavy chunky wool cloth as this can be cumbersome to wear and harder to take on and off. It’s best to look for lighter and softer fabrics and single breasted style coats are much better than double breasted styles which can be bulky to wear at the front.
A tie front belt coat is always a good option as a softer cut usually sits better in a wheel chair… There are many camel coats around now as this colour is a big trend for Autumn and a good classic colour too. A short trench style mac can work well too.
Please describe your body shape as I need to ascertain this regarding which e-book would be the most helpful to you?
Skinny Legs
I have always had very skinny legs and I mean stick like, I envy all the women for beng able to wear shorts in the summer,I just look pathetic I’ve got no shape what so ever but always cover up with maxis or jeans and trousers. Even skinny jeans make my legs look like poles. What do I do if maxis go out of fashion?
Thanks
Carole
Hello Carole
Thanks for getting in touch. We all have areas that we are less than happy with and it’s all about learning to work around them – which is possible to do and in a way that you don’t end up wearing the same thing.
Each season designers serve up a whole variety of takes on our favourite wardrobe staples. Have a look at our catwalk and high street sections (Up in the next few days) to see some of the key trends and pieces this season. For example this season skirts are longer – you could try one that hits right on the widest part of your calf – a no no for many women but will help to add a little width to your legs. Also have a look at this season’s mini flare or high-waited wide leg trousers for an update on your own trouser looks.
Of course if something works for you and flatters your shape then you shouldn’t worry about whether it is in fashion or not. A sleek, good quality maxi dress will always look chic and can be updated seasonally with accessories and shoes to keep your look fresh and varied.
If you want to go shorter this coming autumn/winter then you could try experimenting with coloured and patterned tights which will add width. Avoid clumpy shoes though and pick thin soles and narrow heels to balance your ankles. Finally try Duo Boots in our footwear directory who create calf width fitting boots. A great pair of winter boots that fit (in a lighter colour like tan) you will give your lets extra volume and cover you right the way through the next few months.
Advice for Ageless Style Dressing
Hi Caryn,
Thanks for all the work you do for us bigger women and help us to celebrate our curves. I had purchased your Apple shape and Ageless e books and enjoyed reading them thoroughly and refer to them from time to time.
Having a limited budget for shopping but enjoying shopping and dressing like most women, I now try to dress for my shape and am learning to hide the lumps and bumps. It does take some time to get the knack of it but am getting there and am learning the tricks.
However I still have a dilemma. Whenever I am invited to a party or some other occasion such as a bbq or dinner and especially when the invite does not specify a dress code, I always end up in a rut fretting over what to wear and still feel frumpy when I arrive at the party. Most people today tend to dress more casually but I do like a classic formal style and when I shop (mostly in the sales) I always opt for something formal and classic and if I like it and it looks good on me I purchase it for an event in the future if I do not have something immediate to wear it for. I am not so keen on the latest fashions and find that a lot of the high street shops – at least the ones that are found in my country – do not satisfy my style as I find they are a young fashion. I always feel that everyone dresses so effortlessly and I just can’t seem to get it right – I either dress too formally and end up being overdressed or if I decide to dress down then I find I’m too casual for that occasion. I follow your newsletter and articles in magazines and love to watch makeover shows. I’m 50 and a size 16 and of average height sporting the autumn colour palette.
Please help me solve this dilemma.
Best wishes
Rachel
Hello Rachel
Thanks for your kind words and I’m really pleased that you have found the ebooks useful. It does take practice and a little patience but persevere and it will all come together naturally. It does sound like you are well on you way though.
Some of the chicest women I know never shop to fill a void or to get the next ‘it’ item. Instead they opt for pieces they love. They know their bodies really well and many of them favour a stricter look. This sounds like your mantra that you should stick to.
And just as it happens fashion is undergoing one of those periodic seismic shifts where we are seeing a departure from big statement embellished dressing to a look that is graceful, functional, pared-down and relevant. There is a new focus on ‘classic’ items that will last you a lifetime. Fashion is now definitely on the side of women rather than girls. I’m sure that you already have a number of these chic staples in your wardrobe – a luxurious cashmere sweater/cardigan, silk t-shirt, silk blouse, patent pumps, a luxurious streamlined coat, perfect pair of classic yet mannish trousers in shades of grey, navy and cream.
These items are not dressy in themselves but should form the basis of your wardrobe and then you can build looks depending on the occasion. A silk blouse and trousers looks elegantly and simply chic but can be transformed with some statement jewellery and shoes into a ramped up look. Mix and match your basics to form a simple paired down outfit and add savvy accessories as you see fit.
Learning how to shop so that you arrive with a list and find exactly what you want is crucial. This is something I have written about in my Ageless ebook so do re-read that plus re-read the section on what you should have in your wardrobe as a basic capsule. The you can add with knowledge and avoid any fruitless purchases.
I’m not too sure where you are based but take a look at our shopping mall for a link to all the major high street brands. It’s worth re-visiting the high street as this sea of change on the catwalks will follow suit in the high street stores.
And PS Jane and I have done a major promotion with a large highstreet retailer specifically aimed at 40 plus women. You’ll see it in Mid September and I’ll announce it in our newsletter anyway. The styling we have down should give you some ideas!
Which E-book for Petite Mum?
Hello Caryn,
I would like to buy one of your e-books, but I am still not sure which one I do have to order. I am in the limit of petite standing 158 cm tall, weight 57 kg and my measurements are:
Shoulders: 95 cm
Bust: 95 cm
Under bust: 78 cm
Waist: 75 cm
Low hip: 104 cm
I have gained 7 kg in the last year due to my recent motherhood, and my body has changed a lot. So, I am a bit lost here. Could you help me?
Thanks a lot!!!
Maria.
Hi Maria,
It’s really impossible to prescribe from a set of measurements.
Plus your body is still changing after motherhood so be patient with it…of course you will have a fuller tummy but in time and with gentle exercise this will reduce.
My best recommendation is you work out which part of your body you want to minimise and then you can buy a relevant petite e-book and this will help you create the illusion of height but I suggest you look at the drawings in the petite section first to determine which picture looks most like your body. I’ve enclosed a link here.
