Contributions from Caryn Franklin,
Jane Galpin and Claire Ginzler.
July
Help please - I'm desperate
I am a 45 year old woman who is not only overweight but so top heavy that I'm ready to do anything to help me look good and regain some modicum of self esteem. I currently have none. To give you some particulars, I weight about 89 kg and wear a UK sized 42 I bra. I'm also 5"4" tall so I'm not petite but rather on the short side of average. I look stupid I'm so big and it causes no end of trouble. Please do not tell me I need reduction surgery. My health insurance will not cover it and I don't have the thousands necessary to cover the costs myself. I have very thin but well muscled legs and no bum at all.
I'll be ordering your book for the full figured in a couple of days but I can't help but feel that it won't help. Buying flattering clothing that doesn't make me look like the pregnant elephant in a circus is my main goal in life. Do you have any ideas? I am really at my wit's end. Did I mention that anything I buy bags in the seat? Male reactions to my appearance are humiliating, demeaning and depress me.
I can't help but feel that to here is no help or hope for me but I am willing to give it another try.
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
I read you letter with deep compassion. You have bought an e-book which you can digest in your own time regarding dressing for your body type. But here are your immediate steps that will make a difference.
First the bra, a ‘minimiser bra’ with a fitting from a good department store is absolutely crucial. Make sure the straps are thick enough and tight enough to pull your breasts upwards to their correct shape. Breasts that point downwards look aging and will hide your waist – making you look barrel like.
Second wear only tops that are dark plain and v-necked. (Navy’s blacks, browns, dark aubergine). The V-neckline will lengthen your neck and visually reduce your bust size. Any top with a vertical line like buttons on a cardigan will also help. Also choose fitted blouses that have vertical stripes on a dark base are good.
Third, on your bottom half wear bright and light and bold colours (Camel, white, red, blue or green for formal settings but any colour you please in your leisure also pattern is good here. Normally at 5’4” when ideally you want to look taller, I wouldn’t recommend this but yours is a specific case and I can read the urgency in your letter. Bright colour will always draw the eye to where it is placed and this will distract.
Choose a flared skirt or flared from the hips trousers that are fitted to the waist. This will counteract the ‘no bum’ aspect and make you shape seem more hourglass. Details on the skirt or trousers like pockets, embroidery or tailoring is all good and will add volume to you hips and again will distract the eye from the top of your body. Try also wide decorative belts.
Next shoes – go for a wedge or a chunky but good height heel if you can wear shoes with a bit of a platform this is good too. Great with longer length wide flared trousers. These shoes need to balance your top half so they must be chunky enough, but not at the expense of making your slender legs look thinner. So perhaps a chunkier shoe will work with trousers.
These tips are guaranteed to make your body look better balanced. Please feel free to write again with specific questions after you have absorbed this information.
What to wear for her autumn registry office wedding
Hi Caryn
If I was to buy one fabulous outfit for Autumn which I would be able to wear again (and again!) what would you advise? I want to look fantastic for my registry office wedding.(just a very few guests and followed by a meal - long dress will come at blessing and party later!) I am willing to splash out on something special - although equally happy with high street. and/or fab shoes. I am 5'8" and a size 10 -12 with good legs! I'm 35 and like to consider myself modern (trendy!) - and also like to feel glamourous.
Any help would be very much appreciated
Melanie
Hi Melanie
There are two options that spring to mind:
- A gorgeous tailored outfit - skirt or trouser suit.
- Or a glamorous mid length dress that is versatile due to its length and can be dressed down with tights for the day later on in the year.
Both options will be a complete contrast to the long dress you are going to wear at your blessing.
I have done a bit of research at designer and high street levels so you can check them all out and decide which you prefer.
Start by going to our shopping mall and look at Vivenne Westwood, perfect for a perfectly cut skirt which you could team with a blouse and jacket, both Harrods and Selfridges also in our shopping mall stock her range.
Betty Jackson has a dress called the gazar tucked v-dress, the cut of the dress is modern and elegant and worn on its own with accessories is very glamourous and chic for a reception. Chloe have a silvery strapless print dress in their A/W collection, look number 31. You could team it with a tuxedo style jacket which will keep you warm and give a modern, chic edge.
Checking out the high street - LK Bennett have a black and cream shift dress in silk called Dr Choco, it has a bow detail around the waist and with a fitted jacket will look elegant. Alternatively click onto Next who have a range called Signature where garments are made in more luxurious fabrics. They have a mink cap sleeved bow blouse with a high waisted tailored skirt which should be available by late Summer. You could wear it with a sequin bolero cape, again at Next and a fascinator to complete the look.
Finish off all the looks with a clutch bag and heels. You definately don't have to spend a fortune on these items to get a designer look. Don’t be tempted to go for a high heel, you will be on your feet most of the day and you need a little comfort!
What colour to wear with grey skirt
I wear a grey skirt and top with light grey colour prints. What colour of sandal and bag should I wear with this outfit?
I do have red sandals, but what colour of bag would good to match this with? Finally, what colour of clothes I can wear to compliment the red shoes?
Abeer
Hi Abeer
Like black, grey is a great base colour that a lot of colours can go with. As it is summer I suggest brightening up the grey and adding colours such as bright yellow, reds, purple and pinks. If you prefer a more sophisticated look, perhaps for the office then opt for creams, black and chocolate.
With regards to your red sandal question – match your bag either to your sandal (so red) or to your outfits. Try grey, chocolate, black, navy or white for your clothing choices.
Slim hips - trying to find a pair of trousers
Hello.
I have a problem with my hips, they are to slim and I want them to look bigger. I have been trying to find trousers that would widen them a bit, and make my waist look smaller, my hips are 37" and my waist is 34" so not much different. If I buy trousers to fit my hips they make my waist look big. If there are trousers I can buy to suit me what shops should I go to?
Thank you
Maddie
Hi Madeline
This is easy to fix.
Go for a wide leg trouser, which are very fashionable at the moment. Fit to your waist and then let the wide leg trouser add volume to your hips. It’s a bit of an optical illusion really. Trousers that have pocket details are good as this will help add volume to your hip area. White or pale trousers will widen your hips and this styling tip will be even more effective if you wear a darker coloured top.
The autumn will be a great time to look for high-waister wide trousers, in fact these will be everywhere on your high street.
Check out M&S now in our shopping mall who have wide leg patch pocket linen trousers.
Party dress - wants to find a dress/petite and excess weight
I need to find a party dress urgently. I rarely go to parties and don't want to spend too much for a dress which I may only wear once or twice.
I am 5' 2'', and fairly well proportioned, but after three children carry a little excess weight (around 9st 12lb).
All the dresses I see are either frumpy, or strappy, and I feel the need to cover my arms.
Katy
Hi Katy
Having a full time job to a mum of 3 means that you need to buy a dress that will last over time and isn't going to look out of fashion in Winter. The perfect option is to look for a black dress or LBD (little black dress) which is a key item to any womens wardrobe and can be dressed up differently each time when worn with contrasting accessories and shoes.
The right fit dress should be able to stand time whilst still giving that wow factor and give you confidence when you put it on. Now the secret to it starts at the underwear. Every women needs a little help with excess flesh, especially after giving birth, invest in a good push bra by going to M&S in our shopping mall, find your nearest M&S lingerie department and request a bra fitting.
Get them to suggest push up bras to give you a little extra lift. Next go to Figleaves and invest in their Spanx hide and sleek full slip dress - perfect to help control that excess weight you have gained.
Now to the dress - the designer Roland Mouret you could say invented the perfect style of dress that suits curvy figures, it's called the ‘Galaxy’ dress. The high street have since copied and produced many versions each season of this style dress that must be now a best seller. It hugs in the right places and is has definately become a timeless dress like the wrap style.
For similar versions try Next who have a black belted dress which you should dress up by changing the black belt to a colour and adding the same coloured accessories such as red, pink or silver. Also look at Freemans if you want to wear something with a bit of colour, they have a satin jewelled dress that comes in green and is a pure stunner. As you are worried about your arms wear with a little black bolero available from Coast or Monsoon.
If you are not a fan of this style dress then a dress with an a-line skirt would flatter your figure too. Monsoon now do a petite section and have a gorgeous floaty dress called the Effie dress and as it has angel sleeves so you won't need to wear it with a bolero.
Accessories such as shoes, belts, necklaces and earrings are great to jazz up any dress but so are this seasons clutch bags.
Have a fun party!
Advice please....70 year old women
Hello Caryn,
I wonder if you could help a 70year old who is very young at heart?
Unfortunately all the fashion magazines and shows feature the younger woman and whilst it's lovely to watch, I DO wish there could be an occasional programme/article for the mature woman who still wishes to dress stylishly.
I am 5'11" tall and am (sadly) now verging on a size 18 (have always been a 16), I am not heavy busted at all but tend to be fuller on the hips. Whilst I am not particularly in favour of tight fitting clothes, I feel looser garments are more flattering at this stage, but not wide leg trousers. I can't remember the last time I wore a skirt, probably more than a year ago, I feel more comfortable in trousers, crops in the summer. I have been in business for 27years and spent my life in smart business suits - now that I am retired I appreciate the relaxed and easy style of trousers. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks
Anne
Hi Anne
This is why I wrote my forty Plus e-book which will give you all the information you need to achieve ageless style.
There is a lot to say, but here are my thoughts for now.
Invest in more classic pieces that you can then dress them up with accessories to look fashionable and stylish. An example of this is the Safari trend that is a big look this season and one of the key shapes that would be great for you is the shirt dress, it's quite a classic shape in itself and would flatter your bodyshape as it has an A-line skirt attached, you could then dress it up with some bold accessories such as a colourful bangle and flat pumps and a belt. Check out Debenhams in our shopping mall.
Another big trend is the maxi dresses which is great for your height. Go for one that has a subtle all over print. M&S have a great selection of maxi dresses some are more dressey than others, so you can pick ones for the day and the evening.
Try on a longline cardigan that you can wear to flatter your hips and team with low slung belts. Flattering and simple over trousers. Avoid tops that are too fussy and instead concentrate on a-line or a tunic styles with a high V-neckline. Kaftans are also a great shape for you too, Principles have had some good ones in this summer.
Prints in themselves are an easy way to add life to you wardrobe and there are a lot of beautiful ones to be found, a printed tunic top or wrap dress would definately take years off you. We recommend Simply Be and and in particular the Anna Scholz range.
As you don't like wide trousers then go for a mid rise bootcut style as this will balance out your hips and choose styles that are in a dark colour. Boden who do a classic bootcut jean - still great for wearing in your 70's, they are also a great site for you as they cater in stylish relaxed dressing so have a browse.
You should find cropped trousers that you like wearing at Principles, wear with some colourful flat pumps such as the ones from French Sole, and add either a tunic or vest with long line cardigan.
My final tip is to stand back and have a good look at your wardrobe your wardrobe and edit it. Why not donate anything that doesn’t have a purpose to your favourite charity shop or even swap things with friends so that you make room for all the new and colourful clothes you are going to get. This will automatically cheer you up, enhance your youthful appearance and ensure you stay in fashion.
Wedding dilmena from women in Africa
Dear Caryn,
this is very exciting to my life because I get to read about the fashion industry in developed countries. I got to know about you through www.howtolookgood.com and I actually read your mails on a daily basis and I enjoy it. I am from Africa Uganda, I love fashion and beauty, it is part of me and that is why I keep excited. Anyway, I am getting married in late October and I am looking for a wedding gown which is glamourous and at the same time very cheap. Is there a way i can be helped? I also need something for my brides maids. My theme colour is yellow. Is there a way I can be advised where to shop? I have a bugdet of 2000 dollars maximum.
Thank you
Thanks for your email, it's great to know we have made a connection.
I have asked a few retailers and unfortunately they don't deliver to Africa, I am also concerned that with any bridal dress you need to try it on first to ensure you get the perfect fit and generally alot of alterations take place before that is acheived. I hope instead the following tips give you a guide to styling yourself for your big day and hopefully you can find something closer to home.
Yellow is your theme which is an excellent choice as it is very much on trend at the moment. I would suggest that to get the stylish and glamourous look you want you keep it simple by incorporating yellow onto your dress like a ribbon bow tie around your waist and a yellow bouquet. Go for base colours such as ivory or gold for your dress as this complements yellow and also your skin tone.
You don't mention your bodyshape size so I have found a few different dresses for you to look at and then decide which shape suits you. Although you won't be able to buy these actual dresses the website, their images will at least give you tips on what would work best for you on your big day.
If you have large breasts and are petite in height or have a short body then go for something like the dress from Debenhams (in our shopping mall) also look at designer bride dresses such as Ben de Lisi, he has a dress called the Ivory beaded detail halter neck bridal dress, which has a halterneck, excellent for lifting and moulding breasts and an empire line will lengthen your body.
If you are more curvy then the one by Pearce II Fionda at Debenhams called the Ivory petal embroidered bridal dress is a more traditional style and will flatter your hips and bottom area. If you are worried about your shoulders remember you can always wear a sequin bolero to soften the look. However I always think the best shape for curvy women is a 2-piece corset and skirt. Corsets are fabulous for pulling in the waist and showing off breasts, an a-line skirt will also soften hips.
Your bridesmaids could wear yellow dresses and this would also tie in with your theme. Check out Monsoon and click onto the dress section, they have a dress called the demi dress which is a-line and has little straps. The A-line is again flattering to a lot of figures and the silk tie bow detail at the front will match your dress.
Finally tips to remember are to make sure you wear comfortable shoes that you can wear all day without any discomfort. Also, that you wear a good under wire bra if you need one for support underneath your dress. Once you do find your dress take your shoes and any underwear to try on with it.
Finding a prom dress for hourglass figure
Dear Caryn
I am an hourglass shape - but on the generous side (14-16). I really want to get a pretty dress for summer to wear to casual type parties and think a 50s style sundress would work with my shape. But everywhere I go I can only find dresses that come in just below the bust rather than on the waist and this just doesn't suit me.
Any ideas please?
Many thanks
Amanda
Hi Amanda
You are describing an empire line dress which I agree does not do justice to your shape.
A dress that accentuates your waist and skims over your hips is a good choice for your figure and yes the prom dress - this season's most fashionable dress is great for you.
Try also a halter neck dress with an A-line skirt or a flared shirt dress. For an example of a halter neck dress click onto Coast in our shopping mall and check out the Kitty dress, very summery with a cute bow detail. They also have some prom dresses in particular one called the falling spot dress that should also be flattering.
If you are happy to pay a bit more for a made to measure prom dress check out Candy Anthony in the special occasion section of our shopping mall, who specialises in prom dresses.
Almost 60
Good morning
It is my birthday on American Independence Day and I shall be 60. My husband and friends tell me I do not look it. I am 5'6" tall, about 10 stone 10 lbs. I would like to know how I should dress, I am confused. I tend to go for jeans and casual trousers and tops most of the time. I dip into Per Una in M&S and Principals. What I am afraid of doing is being "mutton dressed as lamb". Any advice please would be greatly appreciated.
I am retiring next spring and have just started a course on jewellery making, and am interested in fashion and colours. I am also thinking of taking a course in "Colour Me Beautiful" when I retire.
Many thanks
Cherry
Hi Cherry
Happy 60th for the 4th July! This is a subject I have been asked about plenty of times! And I certainly comver it a length in my 40plus e-book, which will tell you everything you need to know about absolutely everything to do with ageless style. I’ve also enclosed a link to my blog which will give you a few extra tips. Just cut and paste it into you browser.
You won't look like mutton dressed as lamb if you follow some simple tools
- Don't wear hems above the knee - keep to the knee or just below.
- Ensure you wear a good support bra and not to much cleavage is on show especially as your legs are.
- Wear more colour on your top half to help to keep your skin tone look younger
- Go for quality fabrics, it's worth spending a bit more on a look as people will notice.
- Avoid garments that have too much fuss on them like lots of ruffles
- Aim to be stylish rather than fashionable. Go for styles and colours that suit you and not what you think you should be wearing according to the magazines.
Now let’s get down to the practicalities. There is nothing wrong with wearing jeans, you just need to ensure you are wearing the right type and fit. Go for dark denim with a mid rise bootcut, go to our shopping mall (jeans section) and click onto either mejeans.com or try Dorothy Perkins. Style the jeans with a pretty blouse.
Principles where you currently shop is great for blouses or try Next who have a blouse called the ‘paisley print bow detail blouse’. Wrap or shirt style dresses are great for the day or evening and worn with a fashionable belt can add instant style.
Invest also in a bit of tailoring such as a fitted jacket and a wide pair of trousers, which you can wear separately or together. Another great website for you is Boden, they sell stylish garments that are fashionable without being on fussy or on trend.
Enjoy your body and your fashion Cherry.
Black trousers
Hi Caryn
I'm pear shaped, although tall & slim, and learnt a long time ago the trousers that suit me best are those with no embellishments at the top such as side pockets etc) and preferably flat fronted (with a side fastening). However all high street shops seem to stock trousers that are more suited to apple shapes.
I have searched in vain for the perfect pair of black trousers and am hoping you'll be able to help. I'm trying to find ones that are wide-leg, with a side zip fastening, low waisted, without side pockets and made in material that is not flimsy nylon (like Marks and Spencer) or stuff that repels me when I touch it (synthetic, scratchy etc.) Linen would be nice or something slightly heavier, perhaps a very light wool mix.
When I wear proper wide leg trousers with a long, fitted tunic or a short blouse/top, it makes me feel really sexy & classy and I know it's a look that really suits me. NEXT had the perfect pair which I bought a few years ago, but I've worn them to death and now they're looking more than a ittle tired so please, can you help me?
Alison
Hi Alison
This summer and autumn is mainly about the high waist trousers and side zips aren't on trend or easy to come by either so an alternative is to try a trouser that has a flat front.
Check out Lands End in our shopping mall as they have a pair of flat fronted trousers, that feature a flattering 'no-waist' waistband with belt loops made in wool.
Failing that I’ve enclosed link for a great site I came across where you will be able to work with a dressmaker to create the best shape of trousers for you. Once you have had a pattern made, it becomes cheaper to when you have the next pair of trousers cut. You could look for good quality fabrics in the sale too. Perhaps this could be a solution, if you don’t get enough choice on your highstreet.
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